Are You A 10-Thousand Hour Christian?

In his book Outliers (a book I found fascinating but one that's not written from a Biblical perspective), author Malcom Gladwell explains that becoming an expert in any given field generally requires ten thousand hours of practice.  Since the book covers such areas as music, sports, and chess, I never thought about applying the "10-thousand-hour" principle to anything other than occupations and hobbies.  But when blogger Catherine Gregory built her entire platform on the premise of becoming a 10-thousand-hour mama, wheels started turning in my head.  Where else could the 10-k principle be applied?

This past July 3rd marked my 29th year as a Christian.  I did the math, and it turns out that I've been a Christ follower for over 254,000 hours.  Even if you subtract all the hours that I've slept through (since I can't really work on my faith while asleep), I've hit the prized 10-thousand-hour mark over and over and over.

I know many other Christians who have been saved for a lot longer than I have, meaning they have even more faith hours under their belts.  But there seems to be one common thread between every single believer:

I don't know any Christian who feels as though he's excelling in his faith.

Why is that?

Part of it could be that although we've been saved for years, we don't actually spend that much of our lives actively cultivating a deeper walk with Christ.  Were we to count only the hours we actually spend in prayer, Bible study, and listening to sermons, there would be far fewer believers who've hit the 10-thousand-hour mark.

More than that, though, is the fact that no matter how hard we work, how much time we devote to study and prayer, and how faithfully we attend church, there is infinitely more to learn about the Christian faith.  We could never exhaust it in ten-thousand lifetimes, let alone 10-thousand hours.

That's why the concept of an endless Eternity spent with Christ is so fascinating to me.  Once we're in Heaven with the Lord, we will have all the time in the world to study the Glory of God.

But in full disclosure, I haven't always thought that Heaven sounded amazing.  As a kid, I kind of wondered, "What will we do with all that time on our hands?"  Thankfully, my perspective on and attitude toward Heaven have changed drastically over the years as I've matured in my faith and come to a deeper understanding of God's holiness.

I may not feel like an expert Christian, but I can see the growth I've made over the years.  And I want more growth.  I would love to feel like a 10-thousand-hour Christian some day - not out of pride, but because it is the most worthwhile pursuit I could ever undertake.

With that goal in mind, I'm currently working on 5 key areas to help foster a deeper faith:

Study the Word daily.

When I was growing up, my parents had me read my Bible on a daily basis.  This became a habit for me, and I now rarely miss a day.  (On those days when I do miss, I'm very thankful for grace.)  That doesn't mean it's always easy, but if I work at it, I can stay fairly consistent.

Since the Bible is the foundation for my entire faith, starting out by reading God's Word is an excellent starting point for better spiritual growth.  If we don't know what the Bible says, how can we put it into practice?

Pray frequently.

I love to pray.  It's something simple, free, and very needed that I can do for both myself and for others.  Even though I've been faithfully praying for years, though, just recently the Lord showed me the need to pray not just for the removal of trials, but for spiritual growth as a result of those trials.  Maybe most Christians already know how important this kind of praying is, but it's new to me.

Fellowship with other believers.

The Bible clearly teaches that we are to stay in fellowship with other believers (see Hebrews 10:24-25).  When at church, we sing praises to God, hear His Word preached and taught, and find encouragement through other believers.  It's a win-win-win situation!

Another great way to be in fellowship is to find a Godly Christian older lady to mentor you.  You can think of it as "finding your Paul," as Chip Ingram puts it in Good to Great in God's Eyes.  Several years ago, a friend of mine had been encouraging me to find a mentor in my church.  I was reluctant for a while, but after her continued, gentle pushing, I asked one of our church ladies to be my mentor.  It's been excellent for my spiritual growth, because my "older lady" is willing to ask me hard questions in order to help me expand my faith.

Read solid Christian literature.

Many, many Godly people have walked before us on this journey of faith, leaving behind some fantastic Christian literature for our benefit.  As long as we're diligent to read things that are based on God's Word and that don't take liberties outside of what the Bible teaches, reading solid Christian literature can help us grow tremendously in our faith.

And it isn't only fallen heroes of the faith who have worthwhile things to say; there are many newer books available now, too, that are just as good.  Blogs, videos, and podcasts can offer other sources of Godly material, too.  Just use discernment as you go through things to make sure that everything lines up with the Bible.

Minister to unbelievers.

Ministering to unbelievers is an excellent way to actively look for ways to share the Gospel.  It puts feet to our faith.  And it provides a great reason for us to make sure we really know what God's Word says.  If we're going to be sharing the Good News with others, we first need to know what that good news is.

We also need reminders to keep ourselves humble as we pursue the world for Christ.  The Bible promises that the Gospel is going to be offensive enough just on its own.  While we can't do anything to change that, we can read Scripture and ask God's help in staying humble as we share so that our own actions don't add to that offense.

I won't ever feel like a 10-thousand-hour Christian until I reach Heaven, but I can take steps to increase my faith.  By studying God's Word, praying frequently, fellowshipping with other believers, reading good Christian literature, and ministering to unbelievers, I hope to increase my Christian walk - with the Spirit's help.

Will you join me?

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How to Handle Envy

Note:  no affiliate links appear in this post. 

In my weekly newsletter last week, I shared with my readers that I'm currently creating a simple planner for the homeschooling, work-at-home homemaker.  (Shameless plug:  if you'd like to join my newsletter, just fill out the nifty teal box at the end of this post!  I'll send you a complimentary copy of my ebook, "Hope for the Hallway" as a thank-you gift.)  While I've seen planners of all sorts - homemaking binders, business planners, and life organizers - I've not come across a single planner that covers home education, business, and homemaking.  Since it's something I desperately need, I decided it was worth the effort to create it.

It's been a huge undertaking; honestly, I had no idea when I began putting this planner together that it would require so much effort!  But now that it's almost complete, I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out.

Or, rather, I was happy with it.

This morning, after a big push to get the majority of my planner finished, another blogger sent me an email about the new Homeschool Mom Life Planner.  It's beautiful.  It combines homeschooling with homemaking.  It's inexpensive.  It's undated, making it reusable for future years.  It seemed perfect.

You see, my planner is simple.  It mostly consists of tables I created in Google docs.  Wanting to save on printing costs, I've kept the colors limited.  The decorative designs?  They're nearly obsolete, though I did include one pretty floral I got free from Canva.  Mine isn't reusable because I've had fill-in-the-date planners before, and they're incredibly time-consuming.  When I started comparing my planner to the one in my inbox, mine suddenly seemed inferior and inadequate even though I was happy with it prior to seeing the other one.

To be blunt, I felt a twinge of envy.

Have you ever felt envious of someone else?  Someone who seems to have more success than you have, someone who appears prettier than you are, or someone who comes across as having a deeper faith than yours?  What do you do when envy strikes?

I'm no expert in getting rid of envy, but this morning I did a couple of things to change my mindset and get rid of my envy.

Ask for forgiveness.

I had to pray and ask the Lord to forgive me for being envious and playing the comparison game.  Envy is one of those secret sins that is often easy to ignore.  Unless it absolutely takes over your life, it's also easy to pretend that you're immune to it.

I certainly didn't want to admit that I felt a twinge of envy.  But unless we're willing to admit to and ask forgiveness for our sin - even the hidden ones - we'll never make headway in overcoming them.

Consider the source of envy.

Envy usually stems from feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction.  I had confidence in my planner until someone else came along with a seemingly-better version.  Suddenly, I was dissatisfied with my own efforts even though I had done my best.

Recognizing that dissatisfaction and insecurity fuel envy can help us better guard against them all.  We should be finding our satisfaction and security in the Lord alone, not in ourselves or our talents.  When we do, it won't matter that someone else can do things better than we can.

Give praise where it's due.

The Homeschool Mom Life Planner really is everything I said it was:  pretty, inexpensive, and reusable.  Although it really isn't perfect - nothing in life is! - it meets a lot of planning needs.  So I don't mind promoting it here on my blog in case it blesses any of my readers!  (And no, those aren't affiliate links; I just felt it was worth sharing!)  It is lovely, and I'm certain that it's creator Heather worked very, very hard on it.  She did a great job, and she deserves praise for her efforts.

Remember that you have your own talents to offer.

There will always be someone else more talented than we are.  But that doesn't mean we shouldn't ever try anything because someone somewhere will do it better than we can.  In fact, as Money Saving Mom is fond of saying, "There is only one you, and the world needs your voice" - or, in this case, talents.

I purposely designed my planner to use as little ink as possible to save on printing costs.  I never intended it to cover every aspect of schooling, business, and domestic responsibilities - I just wanted it to cover the most important things.  I created it to be simple.  Plus, mine covers homeschooling and business, something I don't think the Homeschool Mom Life Planner does.

The two planners offer different options since no planner will be perfect for every single person.  One isn't better than the other.  They each were created with different audiences in mind.  And I think that pleases the Lord.  He loves creativity and diversity!

I didn't wake up this morning planning to write a post on envy, but as I continue to pursue blogging, I'm learning that honesty combined with life events often create the best posts.  I'm sure this won't be the last time I'll experience envy, but if I continue to confess it, consider its source, give praise to others, and recognize the unique gifts that God has given me, I'll continue to mature in the way I handle it when it strikes.

Coming soon:  I hope to have The Waiting Well Planner available next week!  If it sounds like something you'd be interested in, be sure to check back for an update on the proposed launch day.  If you need a different planner, Ruth Soukup's Living Well Planner is now available for pre-order, and Beth Anne's Brilliant Business Planner is another great choice.  There's no one-size-fits-all planner, but there are so many excellent options that one is sure to be a good fit for you.

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Why Does Biblical Parenting Matter?

Why does Biblical parenting matter?

Note:  Some of the links in this post are affiliate links.  You can read my disclosure policy here.

I called this series "The What, How, and Why of Biblical Parenting," but in hind sight, I should have switched the how and the why.  Because really, if you don't know why you're doing something, the how doesn't matter all that much.

I've heard Biblical parenting put down over and over again.  "Experts" claim that it doesn't work, that it's archaic, that there are now better and more modern ways of child rearing.

So, why does Biblical parenting matter?

Biblical parenting matters because God's Word commands us to do it. 

That's really all there is to it.  All the child-rearing experts in the world can claim whatever they want about Biblical parenting.  If they are recommending that I do something contrary to God's Word, they are in error.  There may be newer, more appealing ways of stewarding these little charges from the Lord, but if those new ways don't align with what the Bible teaches, these ways are not for believers.

We're commanded to raise up Godly offspring.  And while we cannot save our children, we can be obedient to teach them the ways of the Lord to the best of our ability.  We can administer justice and give mercy.  We can be both firm and gentle; the two are not incompatible, as evidenced by two of God's attributes:  He is both loving and just.

I'm not necessarily against all modern-day parenting wisdom.  The loving aspect of attachment parenting is to be commended.  But it's the attachment-parenting's tendency toward indulgence that causes me to pause.  I once read about a mother who dropped everything she was doing every time her toddler wanted her attention.  Finishing a conversation with your spouse before turning your attention to your children - provided there isn't an emergency - teaches patience and respect.

Speaking softly to a child, no matter the circumstances, shows a great deal of patience on a parent's part and should be commended in most cases.  But if there is an oncoming car and my child is standing in the street, or if Turbo's blood sugar is low and he's too absentminded to get a snack, I will yell for the safety of the child.  There is no sin in those instances.  (That said, I personally yell too much when it's not needed, and it's something I'm working on.  I hope to share some of my victories and tips in upcoming post.)

Sadly, I've seen other parents - even other Christian parents - get caught up in parenting strategies that stray from what the Bible teaches.  One young mom fell in love with the idea that "there are no bad children," and another believed that we simply need to model good behavior for our kids and that they'll naturally follow suit.  Yes, we absolutely need to model Biblical behavior, and there is much to love about ourlittle ones.  But to say that a child is "born" good and that society turns him toward evil is in direct opposition of what the Bible says (Romans 3:23).

All of this confusion raises another question:  How can you be sure what the Bible really teaches about parenting?

There's really only one way to determine what is and what isn't Biblical parenting, and that's to read God's Word.  There are parenting tidbits sprinkled throughout Scripture, both about what to do and what not to do as we raise these little arrows.

Every day, as you read the Scriptures, keep a notebook and jot down every reference to parenting.  Pray about what the Lord is teaching you and begin applying it in your daily parenting attempts.  Ask the Lord how He would have you parent.  Involve your spouse as much as possible; parenting is a team effort!

Read quality parenting books written from a Biblical perspective.  If you need suggestions, I found Ginger Hubbard's Don't Make Me Count to Three and Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson to be helpful.  The Shepherding A Child's Heart series also comes highly recommended, but in complete honesty, I personally found it to be a dry read and never finished it.

It's important to Biblically parent our children, but we also need to understand why it is so important.  Since God has commanded us to this kind of parenting, we need to follow His commandment with all our heart, praying for wisdom and humility as we do so.  Don't forget that the goal of Biblical parenting is to reach our children's heart for Christ.

The Holy Spirit will equip us as believers to follow through on any task that God has given us, including the task of child rearing.  Even if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of Biblical parenting, take comfort in know that that He is equipping us to obey!

Your turn:  How do you view Biblical parenting?  What verses have been most helpful to you as you raise your little ones in light of the Gospel?

Why does Biblical parenting matter?

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10 Spiritual Lessons I Learned from Running

Note:  Some of my links are affiliate links.  You can read my disclosure policy here.

All during grade school, I ran a mile or more almost every week day.  I wasn't a good runner:  I wasn't fast, and I didn't enjoy it.  I'm sure some seasons I ran more than others, but over all, I kept at it because I knew it was good for me (well, that and the fact that my mom required it to fulfill my PE requirements).  In college I ran frequently, too, more out of the need for a study break than for anything else.

But after I got married, pregnancy, injury, and other demands got in the way of running.  I didn't run for over a decade.  In the past few weeks, though, I've started running again.  And I've been amazed at the spiritual lessons I've learned from physical exercise.

Worthwhile pursuits take effort.

Running - or any other form of exercise, for that matter - doesn't come easily to me.  I'm not a naturally-gifted athlete.  I have to work hard in order to build up even a small amount of endurance.  Most worthwhile things in life, though, are going to require serious effort.

The same is true of our spiritual lives.  If we're just haphazardly reading a few verses here and there every few days, it's likely that we won't grow much in our spiritual walk.  In order to deepen our faith, we need to make the effort to set aside time to diligently study God's Word.

Goal-setting is the key to accomplishment.

The reason I began running again is because my dad and sister want me to run a 5K fun run with them in September.  (I'm still not sure why they're called fun runs; nothing about running is enjoyable to me except for the sense of accomplishment that comes after I've gone running.)  This is a specific, time-bound goal, and it's something I can aim for.

So, too, we should be setting goals for our spiritual lives as well.  I recently checked out my library's copy of Chip Ingram's book Good to Great In God's Eyes, where the author talks about setting goals for growing our faith.  We apply goal setting to nearly every other area of our lives; why not to our spiritual growth as well?

You need accountability.

I either go running by myself after Jon gets home from work and while the kids are still napping, or I take the kids with me in the morning (big kids on bikes, Baby D in the jogging stroller).  Although trying to get everyone going in the same direction and at the same pace is a bit cumbersome, I much prefer going with the kids than on my own.  With them there to encourage me, I tend to run farther and faster while taking fewer breaks.

We need that same kind of accountability in our Christian walk.  If no one's asking how we're doing in our faith, we could easily lose heart or simply stop caring about our spiritual growth.  We need other believers to cheer us on, to keep us on track, and to confront us on our sin.  We'll never grow spiritually without the support of others.

Don't worry about what other people think.

I have a really awkward gate when I run.  I kick out my heels in a goofy way, and if I'm particularly tired, my feet will slap the pavement.  Add in my poor posture, and I look pretty silly when I run!  I was tempted not to go out running for fear of what people would think of my crazy running style, but I'm glad I didn't let that stop me.  For one thing, I wouldn't be getting into shape, and for another, I wouldn't have been able to write this post.  :)

The world is going to make fun of Christians.  We appear crazy to unbelievers.  While we should make every effort to be kind and loving toward those who find us weird or even repulsive, we shouldn't let what other people think prevent us from following Christ.

Appearances can be deceiving.

I've been following a run/walk pattern my dad told me about.  I run for about 3 minutes, then walk a minute, then run again.  The slight break that walking gives me helps me catch my breath and rest my muscles without letting my heart rate drop too drastically.  The end result is that I can go further with less injury.

What ends up happening is that I run out of our mobile home park toward the trail behind our house, run/walk along the trail, then run back into the park.  I'm sure that my neighbors all think that I'm constantly running since they see me run out and run back in.  But the truth is that I take a lot of walking breaks that they don't see.

The same thing happens in other areas of life, too.  We see the pastor who can suggest Bible passages effortlessly and the Christian lady who always smiles no matter how hard life is.  But what we don't see are the years that the pastor poured into studying God's Word or the countless hours the lady has spent on her knees asking the Lord for strength.

We should avoid the comparison game at all costs.  It's unbiblical, and nobody wins.  Be happy for those who are doing well in certain areas and ask them for advice so that you can improve in your life, too.  And always remember that the small snippets you see of someone else's life are just that - quick snapshots from a lengthy film.  They never represent the whole picture.

Sometimes you have to spit out the yucky stuff.

I don't take water with me when I run.  Because I don't like carrying things and since I don't run that far, I can get away with just drinking water before and after I exercise.  But my labored breathing combined with summer temperatures often means that my mouth dries out so much I can't swallow.  At the risk of sharing too much info, there's no way to get rid of the saliva in my mouth other than to spit it out.  It's not pretty or lady-like, but it's occasionally necessary, because if I don't get rid of it, it threatens to impede my breathing.

There will be ugly things in life.  Sometimes, there's nothing to do but spit out the sin, repent of it, and move on.  Otherwise, sin will choke us.  At best, it will hinder our spiritual lives; at worst, it will destroy us.  Just get rid of it.

Invest in the right equipment.

For the past several years, I've owned a hot-pink pair of New Balance tennis shoes that I bought on clearance.  I'm not usually picky about my shoes and just buy whatever's least expensive, but this particular brand of shoe never fit my foot well.  (I guess that's the down side to buying shoes online.)

My first few runs in those shoes were miserable.  They were old enough that there was no cushion left.  When I noticed that the insides were starting to tear, I couldn't he happier, because I finally felt that a new pair was warranted.  When my new Asics - my favorite brand of tennis shoe because they fit my feet so well - arrived, I couldn't believe how much better my running was!

While it's good to be frugal, there are times when investing in a Bible study book, online class, or running shoe is the right move.  I don't often think about investing in my spiritual growth, which is truly sad since this is the most important area of my life.  Physical exercise is good, but Spiritual exercise bears with it the weight of Eternity.

You need a day of rest.

"Why is "remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy," the one commandment we so often ignore?"  When my pastor's wife asked me this question, it got me thinking about how true it was.  While most Christians really do try to keep all of the 10 Commandments, resting one day a week is still a struggle for many of us, myself included.

It's funny, but I noticed a comparison with my running as well.  While I can get in about 4 good runs a week, I've found that taking a deliberate day off instead of constantly running back-to-back is extremely beneficial.  It lets my body recover better and helps me to stay injury-free.  The Lord certainly knew what He was doing when He made this a requirement.

Caring for one area of life often results in improvements elsewhere.

Some years ago, I was diagnosed with inflamed arteries.  Basically, one test suggested that although I was only 29 at the time, I had the arteries of a 47-year-old.  Those are not good statistics for someone under the age of 30!  Although I didn't start running right then - we soon found out that Baby D was on his way - it was one of my motivations for getting back into running now, since I'm pretty recovered from that last pregnancy.

Even though reducing that inflammation and increasing my stroke rate (the amount of blood that my heart can move in one pulse) were my main goals, I've noticed that my clothes fit more comfortably, that I have increased energy, and that I'm sleeping better, too.  Taking care of the inflammation resulted in improvement elsewhere.

So, too, when I place priority on my spiritual life, other areas of conflict often improve along with it.  Spending time with the Lord naturally helps me with patience and joy, and those things give me an improved perspective in other areas of my life.  The result is that I see improvement not only in my spiritual growth but also in my relationships and other activities.

The result is worth the effort.

Running takes hard work, work I often don't feel like doing.  But the results of improved health, greater vitality, and quality sleep are well worth it.

Putting time into my spiritual life also takes effort.  If the effort for running is worth it, then the spiritual ramifications of applying myself to my Bible study is even more so.

When I started out on my running journey, I wasn't looking for spiritual lessons.  I just wanted to get healthy.  But the Lord has miraculously arranged things so that, for Christians, our spiritual growth intersects every other aspect of our lives.  One by one, these little lessons jumped out at me as I trudged over my jogging trail.  It's beautiful to see this interweaving He orchestrates!

Related:  Tracy shares her experience with running every day for a year.

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Does God Carry Your Suitcase?

"Father, what is sex sin?" asked Corrie Ten Boom on the train one afternoon, having heard the word in a poem at school.

Instead of answering, Father handed Corrie his suitcase.  "Corrie, can you carry my suitcase for me?" He questioned.

Try as she might, little Corrie couldn't lift the heavy travel bag.  "I'm not big enough yet, Father," she admitted reluctantly.

"So it is with sex sin, Corrie.  There are some things that are too heavy for a child to carry.  For now, you must trust me to carry certain things for you, and when you are able to handle them, I will tell you about them."

Years later, after having been arrested for assisting Jews during WWII, Corrie and her father were imprisoned.  Although Corrie lived through her internment, her father died from illness after just 10 short days.  Unable at first to understand why God allowed him to die, Corrie finally decided that the Lord's reasoning was too much for her to grasp right then.  She made the choice to let God carry this "suitcase" for her.

What in your life right now is too heavy for you?  Are you leaving it in the Lord's hands, or are you constantly struggling with the weight of it yourself?  I'm definitely of the "suitcase-carrying" kind of person.  I worry and stew about things I have no control over, as if somehow my fretting is going to change the situation for the better.

I have a list of suitcases I attempt to carry:  Jon's CSF leak; Turbo's diabetes; family finances; the spark plugs' health.  I've convinced myself that worrying about these and other issues means I care more deeply about my family than I would if I weren't unduly concerned.  But if I'm honest here, carrying my own troubles is nothing more than sin, selfishness, and a lack of faith.  Calling sin by its name doesn't really leave much room for pretending that it's something else, does it?

If you're struggling with something in life, be it family issues, money woes, poor health, or lack of faith, there are three questions you should ask yourself:

• Why are you struggling with this?
• What is causing you to resist leaving it in God's capable hands?
• What can you do today to start leaving it with Him?

I don't ask myself these questions very often, but I need to start doing it regularly.  When I'm faithful to consider them, the answers are convicting.

• I struggle with things because I am a naturally-gifted worrier.  Fretting comes easily to me; I don't have to work at it, and yet it's an area where, sadly, I excel.
• Lack of trust in God's promises and faithfulness and my own selfish pride cause me to hang onto things when I should leave them fully with God.
• If I truly want to stop carrying my suitcases, I can pray, read Scripture, and ask others to keep me accountable.

Your answers may look similar to mine, or they may be completely different.  My hope is that taking the time to consider your own answers will challenge you to release your "suitcase" into the Lord's capable hands.  He'll hold it until you're ready to handle it, whether that's sometime in the coming days or not until you reach Heaven.

For many months following her arrest, Corrie had to be content knowing that the Lord would carry the suitcase of her father's death.  But as the war dragged on and the concentration camp grew more and more brutal, Corrie at last understood why God had taken her father Home.  Dying from illness had spared him from the beatings, humiliation, starvation, and shootings that took place in the men's quarters.  The Lord in His goodness had been merciful.

What about you?  Are you able to leave your worries, cares, and concerns with the Lord even if He chooses not to reveal His reasoning?  Although my heart wants to do this, my flesh is still weak.  I am constantly fighting the urge to take back my worries.  I have a feeling that this will be a life-long battle for me, but as my faith continues to grow, I hope that I will grab the suitcase handle less and less frequently.

I don't need to know all of God's reasons; I just need to trust that He will safeguard that information until it's time for Him to reveal them.

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What Do Ants Have to Do With Essential Oils?

Note:  The Hallway Initiative uses affiliate links.  Please see my disclosure policy here.

As wonderful as my new house is, there is one drawback:  a colony of grease ants has taken up residence.  Frustrated at having to clean up a mountain of ants again, I Googled how to naturally get rid of the tiny pests.  A post from Mommypotamus recommended Clove essential oil.  Elated that I actually had clove oil, I quickly dabbed some onto a cotton ball and pressed the concoction into the window crevice where the ants were gaining entrance.

Within minutes, the constant stream of critters slowed to a trickle, and by the next morning, no trace of them could be found...at the window, anyway.  The little terrors had discovered a new inlet in the dining room, so I repeated the process with the same results.

I was thrilled - not just about getting rid of some of the ant infestation, but because an essential oil remedy had actually worked.

Many friends and family members have recommended essential oils (EOs) to me over the years.  They've given me tips, advice, and recipes for using them, and although I've tried several of the suggestions, I havn't really seen an improvement in our health.  That doesn't necessarily mean there wasn't improvement, but it if there was, it wasn't tangible.

I was kind of frustrated.  I kept hearing glowing reports of how essential oils healed this malady or that virus, and as much as I love the various EO scents, I couldn't really see their benefits.

Until the ant incident, that is.

Chasing away the ants with clove oil was the first time I thought, "wow, maybe these essential oils really do work for some things!"

One thing I was especially excited about was the fact that I hadn't had to use any kind of bug spray on the ants.  At the same time, though, clove essential oil is extremely potent in its own right.  Just because something is natural does not automatically mean it is safe.  And truthfully, some of the recommendations I've been given about essential oils, such as putting a few drops into my water bottle or applying them undiluted to my skin, aren't safe practices (essential oils don't dilute in water and many of them are too strong to apply without what's known as a carrier oil).

Since many of my readers are avid essential oil users and others want to learn more about natural health and wellness, I wanted to give a quick heads-up about a new Ultimate Bundle available today through Monday, June 27th:  The Herbs and Essential Oils Super Bundle.  I love that much of this bundle will be focused on safe natural remedy practices.  Instead of writing about the bundle's contents and benefits, though, I'll let this video here do a much better job for me!

But I also have a confession to make:  I'm not planning to buy the bundle.  It isn't that I don't want to learn more about natural health; I do!  It isn't because I'm concerned about a lack of quality; Ultimate Bundles have always exceeded my expectations.  And it isn't because I don't think we'd benefit from it; I'm confident we would.  It's just that I have so many ebooks and ecourses (not all on natural health) sitting in my queue that I don't want to add even more to my list right now.  I'm trying to be a good steward not only of my finances but also of my time.

Because of my success in getting rid of ants with essential oils, I do plan to use EOs more consistently and in a wider variety of ways.  I will probably revisit the EO class from Vintage Remedies that I took a couple of years ago.  And I hope to complete enough of my current courses and ebooks that I'll have time to buy next year's Essential Oil Ultimate Bundle, assuming there will be one!

Your turn:  Are you interested in natural health?  Have you found natural remedies to be a benefit to your family?  If so, share in the comments some of your favorite natural health tips and resources!

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What Is true Biblical Parenting?

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What, exactly, is true Biblical parenting?

Even though I grew up in church, grew up reading God's Word, and grew up in a Christian home, I still had to ask myself what Biblical parenting really was.  So if you aren't quite sure of the answer, either, you're in good company.

I used to think that good parenting would simply result in good children.  I thought that if I were diligent to punish bad behavior and reward good actions, I would be following Biblical parenting guidelines and all would be well.  But I was wrong on many levels.

Biblical parenting, just like the Christian faith, is not nearly as focused on outward behavior as it is the inner attitude of the heart. 

Amazingly enough, the Scripture passage that I now lean on to guide my parenting mindset has little to do with parenting directly.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

This verse gives me what I refer to as the four pillars of true Biblical parenting:

• Obedience (the Lord requires it of parents)
• Justice
• Mercy
• Humility

We need each part of this verse to balance out everything else.  If we were to leave out even one part, we wouldn't be parenting our children in a God-honoring manner.  If we were to avoid the commandment all together, we would be in sin.  If we were to skip justice, sin would have free reign in our children.  Were we to be unmerciful, we would exasperate our children (see Ephesians 6:4).  If we didn't walk in humility and dependence on God for wisdom, we would believe that we were capable of saving our children, something that only Christ's work on the cross could do (John 14:6).

My mistake was in assuming that controlling my spark plugs' outward actions would govern their inward faith.  But the Bible clearly states that salvation rests solely with the Lord; it is not something that I could give my kids no matter how diligent I am to correct and encourage.  I had failed to hunger after justice; failed to desire mercy; and failed to be humble.  I was a Biblical parenting disaster waiting to happen!

What is true Biblical parenting?

Slowly, the Lord has opened my eyes to what true Biblical parenting is.  Yes, it does require correcting and rewarding outward actions, but it's ultimate goal is to reach our children's hearts for Christ.  That is the most crucial component to true Biblical parenting:  sharing the Gospel with our unsaved little sinners.  If our parenting method has any other goal than teaching our kids about Christ's death and resurrection and their need for a Savior, we have missed the point completely.

Let's aim this week to obey God's commandment to parent Biblically:  to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our Creator.

Your turn:  Do you have a Biblical understanding of what Godly parenting is?  Do you struggle with any of the pillars of true Biblical parenting: obedience, justice, mercy, or humility?  If so, know that I'm right there with you.

What is true Biblical parenting?

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The What, How, and Why of Biblical Parenting

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

"What are your family and friends constantly asking you about?  Start blogging about that.  Chances are good that if they want to know, your readers will, too.  And if you're being asked about it, you probably have something worth sharing."

The above advice was part of a blogging class I'm currently taking.  I thought it was fabulous advice...until I started thinking about what it is people ask me.

"What do you do when your toddler throws a tantrum?"

"How do you stop being an angry mom?"

"Your kids are so well-behaved; how do you do it?"

"Do you have any tips for potty training?"

I get these and other questions frequently.  Maybe it's because I have a lot of children.  Maybe I just look like someone who would know the answers.  Whatever the reason, people often ask me for parenting advice.  And that's the problem:  for a number of reasons, I don't actually enjoy giving parenting advice.

• First, I don't feel exceptionally qualified to give it.  I haven't found any magical formula for child-rearing that I'm dying to share with the world.  I'm just a struggling mama like everyone else around me.
• Second, I'm not sure people really want to hear what I have to say about parenting.  I parent from a Biblical perspective, and unless those asking are of the same faith as I am, my methods will probably come across sounding old-fashioned.
• Third, my oldest is 11.  I haven't even hit the teenage years yet.  I know nothing of the growing independence and mood swings commonly attributed to the adolescent years (although I'm actually looking forward to having teenagers in the house!).
• Fourth, none of my spark plugs currently has any learning disabilities, mental health hindrances, or behavioral issues.  In other words, I don't have a lot of wide-range parenting tenure.

But.

What if this is the Lord prompting me to share what little I do know?  What if, in being willing to share my thoughts about Biblical parenting, I can help even one struggling mother?  What if my words can help stop even one parenting battle from taking place?  Wouldn't it be worth it?

Yes, it would.

And so, with that single thought in mind, I'm stepping out in faith to put together a small series on Biblical parenting in the hopes that it will encourage just one mama in her parenting efforts.  Maybe that mama is you.

For the next few weeks, I'll be sharing about what Biblical parenting is, why it's as important to Christian families today as it was when the Bible was written several thousand years ago, and how we can implement it in our households.

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

Before I wrap up this introductory post, though, there are a few things I'd like to share with you.  The first is about my kids being well-behaved.  This, on the days when it's actually true (we have bad days just like everyone else!), is due solely to God's grace.  I have no parenting wisdom apart from what the Bible teaches and the Holy Spirit gives.  I can't emphasize this point enough.

The second, on a lighter note, is that I won't be sharing any potty-training tips for now, no matter how many mamas ask me for advice on this topic!  That's an area utterly beyond my scope of knowledge.  I don't even know how my older three got trained.  I'm still struggling with training my youngest.  If any of you have suggestions, I'd welcome them!

With that off of my chest, let's study the what, how, and why of Biblical parenting together.

Your turn:  What are your biggest parenting struggles?  What aspect of motherhood makes you often think, "I wish there were a manual on this topic"?  Share in the comments or contact me.  I probably won't have the answer, but I'd love to pray along with you as you seek the Lord in this matter!  And if you're past the child-rearing years, what advice would you give those of us who are still in the trenches?

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

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3 Action Steps You Must Take During A Financial Crisis

3 action steps you must take during a financial crisis

Job loss.

Medical bills.

Unforeseen illness.

All of these things have a common thread that makes my heart jump into my throat:  the potential to create a financial crisis.

Money woes cause me to panic more quickly than anything else in life (with the possible exception of illness).  The combination of an empty bank account and an impending bill is enough to cause my heart to pound in anxiety.  I'm guessing I'm not alone when it comes to being terrified by money issues.

Jon and I have gone through layoffs, unemployment, and under-employment, all of which bring various levels of fear.  I wish I could tell you that I've handled each situation with grace and poise.  I wish I could say that I fully trusted in God's provision.  I wish I could claim to have learned to put my complete faith in the Lord as a result of these trials.

But I can't.

I am very human, and lack of money quickly reveals how fickle I am.  So, while I can't say, "here are 3 things I learned as a result of an empty checking account," I can offer three things I wish I had done when each of those trials came and what I hope I will remember to do when the next wave of financial turbulence hits.

Remember that God owns it all

One of the biggest mistakes I've made during financial crises is forgetting that the money was never mine to begin with.  How much better would it have been if I'd stopped to consider that it all belonged to God, that I was merely a steward of what He'd given me, and that He was free to move His funds around as He saw fit?

If you're facing a difficult financial situation, stop to consider that the Lord owns everything.  The only way to gracefully endure fiscal hardship is to view "your" money as it actually is:  God's.

View A Financial Crisis As An Opportunity to See God Work

Instead of freaking out about your financial crisis like I've done, try to calmly view each money crunch as an opportunity to see God work.  Everything God does is for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28, Isaiah 48:10).  I have a very hard time seeing (at first) how God could be glorified and how things are for my good.  I tend to see the crisis and not Christ. 

It might not be immediately obvious to us how He is being glorified or how we're benefiting from a situation, but since the Bible promises us these things, we can trust that they're happening.  If you can see a tough situation as a front-row seat to God's handiwork, it will be much easier to accept the cup that the Lord has given you.

Write Down Verses on God's Promise to Provide

God has graciously promised to provide for all our needs (see Philippians 4:19), but it's easy to get so caught up in the fear of the situation that we forget those promises.  Grab your Bible, a pen, and a sheet of paper and begin jotting down verses about the Lord's provision.  Don't forget Old Testament stories of God's protection and provision.  Notice how, over and over again, the Lord graciously cares for His people.

God doesn't promise to provide in the way we think or expect

A word of caution is in order here, however:  God definitely promises to provide, and He has proven His provision in Scripture over and over again.  But He doesn't promise to provide in the way we think or expect Him to, nor does He act according to our timetable.  He also doesn't say that we won't suffer while we're waiting for Him to act (otherwise, this blog would be obsolete!).  The Bible promises us that suffering will come (James 1).

Remembering that God owns it all, viewing a financial crisis as an opportunity to see God work, and writing down God's promises to provide won't make your current trial go away.  But doing these things will give you a better mindset for handling the situation in a way that brings honor to the Lord.  There often isn't much you can do during a financial crisis other than waiting, but these three things are action steps that you can do today, right now.

Let's praise Him while we wait!

Your turn:  Have you gone through financial hardships?  What has been the biggest help to you?  Share with us in the comments!

grace and truth linkup

3 action steps you must take during a financial crisis

When It Isn't Going to Be Okay

"Turbo has Type 1 Diabetes."

Those words, spoken to me three years ago today by an Urgent Care doctor, were some of the hardest I've ever had to swallow.

I didn't know anything about diabetes.  I didn't fully understand the impact of the doctor's words.  I was overwhelmed.

"He's going to be taken by ambulance to Children's Hospital.  But he's going to be okay."

Maybe you've received devastating news, too.  Maybe you got a phone call.  Perhaps you received a letter or email.

And maybe for you, it isn't going to be okay, at least not this side of Heaven.

A friend's little boy was diagnosed with a genetic disorder so rare it doesn't even have a name yet.  Another friend's infant has a suppressed immune system that will likely give out on him completely at some point.  Cancer recently took the lives of two friends, and others are still in the middle of their cancer battles.

Sometimes, things aren't going to be okay.

What then?  How does one cope when there is no reassuring doctor there to comfort you with the words, "It's going to be okay," like I had that day at Urgent Care three years ago?

That's the beauty of the Gospel.  No matter how difficult things are here on Earth, for the believer, there is the hope of Heaven.  Even if we lose all we hold dear here on Earth - our health, our loved ones, our homes, our own lives - Heaven will meet us and Eternity with Christ will wipe away all of our tears (see Isaiah 25:8).

One of my favorite books in the Bible is, oddly enough, Revelation.  Although it is full of end-time descriptions that don't always make sense yet, the overarching theme of God's ultimate mercy despite intense suffering is clear.  If it's been a while since you last read through it (or if you've never read it before), I would highly encourage you to do so.  Grab a pen, and as you read, write down all the references to God's salvation, mercy, grace, and final triumph over evil.  Then choose two or three of your very favorites to memorize and meditate on while you're in the middle of your struggle.

My favorite verse from Revelation is in chapter 12, verse 6.  It reads, "Then the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, that they should feed her there one thousand two hundred and sixty days" (emphasis added).  I've been through some very difficult circumstances, but in each of them, I definitely see that God perfectly prepared me for each of them by providing a place of provision.

The book of Revelation clearly states that times of hardship and anguish are coming.  But more importantly, it is a beautiful reminder that the Lord will triumph over evil; He will bind Satan forever; and we will spend all Eternity with Him free from sin, sadness, and death.

When you get news you never wanted to hear, when you receive a diagnosis you never anticipated, when it isn't going to be okay, put your trust in the Only One who is trustworthy.  Find hope in the fact that the Lord will prevail once and for all.  Rest in the peace of knowing that even though it's not okay now, someday, it will be.

What greater hope is there than spending Forever in the presence of our Heavenly Father?

4 Housekeeping Hacks for the Hopeless Homemaker

Note:  The Hallway Initiative uses affiliate links.  Please see my disclosure policy here.

I'm a hopeless homemaker.

Really.  A few months after Jon and I got married, my mom once came over to help me clean up.  I was sick and exhausted from my first pregnancy and welcomed the help.  Here's the embarrassingly-honest truth:

We spent three hours scrubbing moldy dishes.

Yep.

The air-born mold in our house, combined with our lack of automatic dishwasher and my fatigue, resulted in an appalling stack of gross plates, cups, and silverware.  To complicate things further, our house had the world's smallest water heater, so every 20 minutes or so, we had to stop scrubbing to boil more water because there was no hot water left in the tap.  It was slow going, but with the two of us (mostly Mom; I was tired and had to sat down a lot of the time), we finally cleaned up the whole mess.

From this experience, I realized that I'm not a natural homemaker.  In my head, I'm the neatest, most organized person I know, but in actuality, my home is often a complete disaster.  I used to cringe when people popped in unannounced, not because I didn't dearly want to spend time with them, but because I was embarrassed about the condition of my house.

I am, by nature, a germ freak, so a dirty home really bothered me.  I once thought that my dislike of germs would help me keep my house clean, but I finally realized that it was my germophobia that actually prevented me from cleaning.  I couldn't stand touching the dirty sink or bathtub to clean them.  So, as hard as I tried to keep things tidy, I just couldn't seem to keep up with any sort of housekeeping.

I finally stumbled - through trial and error - onto four tips that helped me improve my homemaking skills.  If you're a struggling homemaker like I was (and still am!), maybe these suggestions will help you as well.

Just do it.

As with most things in life, there isn't any magical way to get housecleaning done aside from just doing it.  This might not seem like a big help, but I came to the conclusion that my germophobia was actually hindering my house cleaning, not helping it.  I desperately wanted a more orderly, clean home, but I couldn't bring myself to clean out the kitchen sink or the scummy bathtub because they grossed me out.  Eventually I realized that in order to make progress, I was just going to have to roll up my sleeves, hold my breath, and get the cleaning done no matter how disgusting it seemed to me.

Find a method that works for you.

Flylady.

Sidetracked Home Executives.

KonMari.

When it comes to methods for keeping your home livable, the possibilities, styles, and systems are endless.  If you need more options, try the Kamikaze Cleaning ebook, Motivated Mom's Chore Chart, or ASlobComesClean.com (more on these last two in a moment).  Each of these methods has its benefits and drawbacks.

One homeschool family I knew of spent Monday through Thursday focusing on their written studies and saved Fridays for their deep-cleaning day, opting to do audio school while they worked.  I'd love to incorporate this more into my own homeschool routine this Fall, but right now, taking bits and pieces of each of the above-mentioned methods is what's suiting us for the moment.

It really doesn't matter what method you use as long as it works for you.  If you're not sure where to start, just pick one to implement and use it until it no longer gets the job done.  Then move on to the second suggestion on your list, and so on.  Eventually, you'll create a method all your own that works for your needs.

Get the right equipment.

For years, it never dawned on me to invest in a $1.99 pair of rubber gloves to use when cleaning items that I didn't want to touch (want to clean a toilet after potty-training a toddler, anyone?  Ick!).  A friend also introduced me to Norwex cleaning cloths that clean with just water.  She showed me how to fold it into 4ths so that I could move to a fresh part of the cloth every few minutes.  I realized that by doing this, I could always keep a clean rag surface for my hand, too.  (You don't need Norwex to do this; I can do it with any kind of cleaning rag now.)

It doesn't matter what kind of cleaning items you use, but you do need the right equipment for the job.  I've used Norwex, Ecloth, and even these inexpensive Amazon microfiber cloths all with great results.  Other homemakers I know have a little caddy of cleaning supplies that they can carry back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen or anywhere else in the house.  Pick the equipment that's most suited to your needs and cleaning style.

Consider purchasing the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

(Note:  the 2016 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle has come and gone, but I'm guessing that there will be another Ultimate Homemaking Bundle next year with all-new resources.)

Have you heard of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle?  This is a phenomenal group of over 90 ebooks, ecourses, and bonuses designed to help hopeless homemakers like me.  I almost skipped the Homemaking Bundle this year, but I'm so glad I went ahead and purchased it.  With ebooks and ecourses on Budgeting, Motherhood, Marriage, Self-Care, Food Prep & Recipes, Faith, and more, this year's Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is designed to offer wisdom on nearly every aspect of homemaking.  As Ultimate Bundle founder Stephanie Langford says, "We can't help you clean up throwup, but we can encourage and cheer you along the way!"

I'm most looking forward to the "Organization and Routines" section of this amazing resource.  It comes with several planners, including the above-mentioned "Motivated Moms Chore Planner" and "Teaching Kids to Clean!" ebook from ASlobComesClean.com.  And although I didn't realize it until I'd bought the Bundle, Money Saving Mom's new ecourse, "Make Over Your Calendar," is also included!  I'm so glad I hadn't purchased it before now.

The entire Bundle (over 90 Homemaking resources!) is on sale for just two days - today and tomorrow - for $29.97.  The total worth of the Bundle, were you to purchase each item separately, would be over $1,000 with $249.99 in bonuses!

If the 2016 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle sounds like it might be a good fit for you, you can click the blue button below to learn more.  While I definitely believe that this Bundle is well worth it's cost, I certainly don't want to encourage anyone to buy it if it's not going to be a good fit for your interests or circumstances.  If it's not your thing, if finances are tight, or if you prefer physical products to digital books and courses, feel free to skip to the end of this post.

Diving in and doing housework, finding a workable method, getting the right equipment, and grabbing the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle have all helped me to be a not-so hopeless homemaker.  I still have a long way to go before homemaking routines really stick, but at least I no longer have to battle moldy dishes for three hours and can better enjoy drop-in company.

And since God's Word commands us to be homemakers as part of our Christian witness (Titus 2:5), I know the Lord is pleased with any attempt at improving the state of our homes.  We won't attain perfection this side of Heaven, but as The Nester says so well, "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."

Let's work together to make our homes beautiful!

Your turn:  Are you a hopeless homemaker, or is this an area where you excel?  If you struggle, what's been your biggest help?  If you're an excellent homemaker, what tips can you offer for those of us who struggle?  Share in the comments!

3 Free Ways to Nurture Your Marriage Today

Today, I want to ask a deeply personal question:

How is your marriage?

I mean, how is it really?

Are you happy with it the way it is, or do you long for it to be better?

Even if you have a fabulous marriage, I hope you still want it to improve.  Why?  I firmly believe that even the best marriage in the world can be better.  None of us is perfect, and as long as marriages consist of two imperfect people, there will always be room to grow.

But, what if your marriage is in shambles?  What if you're certain that there's no hope?  Well, here comes the exciting part:  as long as there is life, there is hope.  Hope for a marriage rescue boat.

Jon and I have been blessed with a really, really good marriage.  Not a perfect one, but by God's grace alone, our marriage has been rock solid even though our life together has been anything but.  Because I've been given the gift of a good marriage, I want you to be able to have the blessing of a good marriage, too.

Today, I want to share three free ways to nurture your marriage today, no matter how good - or not - your relationship with your spouse currently is.

Pray for your husband.

You're not surprised that this is top on my list, are you?  I'd venture to say that most Christian wives do pray for their husbands.  But are you like me, where you fire off so-called "Nehemiah" prayers - a quick "please watch over and bless him, Lord" before rushing about your day?

When was the last time you took time to set aside distractions and got down on your knees in deep, exhaustive prayer for your husband?  In truth, I'm not sure I've ever done this.  Lately, though, I've been feeling the Holy Spirit's convicting me that I need to start praying more fervently for him.  In preparation for this post today, I decided to try praying specifically and deliberately for Jon for 5 minutes.  I fell asleep half way through.  (At least I'm in good company, since the disciples couldn't stay awake with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, but that doesn't make me feel any better about my poor praying ability.)

Despite this disastrous start, I'm not going to give up in deepening my prayers for Jon's and my marriage.  Clearly, this is going to take a good bit of effort on my part, but it will be a worthwhile endeavor.  Marriages are under constant attack, and we can never pray enough for our spouses and our marriages.

Prioritize him over your kids.

When your husband walks through the door at the end of the day, who is the first to greet him - you or the kids?  I once heard on the radio a wife who was miffed at her husband for being more excited about seeing their daughter than about seeing her.  The radio host asked a simple question:  "Who is more excited to see him, you or your daughter?  If your daughter is dropping everything to run up to him with squeals and delight while you finish stirring dinner on the stove before giving him a peck on the cheek, can you blame him for appearing to enjoy her more?"

Children are certainly a blessing, but if we don't prioritize our husbands over our kids, marriages can accidentally take a back seat to parenting.  God designed marriage before he included children, though, so following His order for families is a must.

This is another area where I personally need to improve, though I am doing better than I used to.  My spark plugs were constantly bombarding Jon the moment he walked in.  I finally told the kids they had to wait to hug Dad until I'd had my turn!  Jon now gets home earlier while the kids are still napping, so I try to have his lunch ready and to ask him about his day before going back to whatever project I was involved in before he arrived.

Become a good listener.

Is there something that your husband has been mentioning, something that he'd like done, that you could do to make his day easier?  Perhaps the toys in the hallway impede his walk, or maybe he's been wishing for you to make that amazing dessert again.  Learning to listen for these little cues and then following through on them when we can could make a world of impact on our marriages.

Jon has mentioned several times that the two things that bother him most about the house are crumbs on the kitchen floor and toys in the walkways.  The kids and I have worked at making toy pickup a routine before nap time so that when Jon gets home, there aren't usually toys to trip over.  But I haven't quite made sweeping the kitchen floor as big of a priority as I should.  My goal this summer is to get that integrated into our routine so that it happens automatically.

Doing these small things for our husbands shows that we're listening, that what matters to them also matters to us, and that we are actively working on serving them.  The hard part comes when we start doing these things and they go unnoticed.

Fervently praying for your husband, prioritizing him over the kids (and pets, I might add), and listening to the things he mentions are all wonderful ways to improve your marriage.  They are all things that don't depend at all on his contributions, and they're things that any wife in any situation can do since they don't cost anything other than time.

But what if your husband doesn't notice all the hard work and effort you're putting into your marriage?  What if you start doing these things and more but it doesn't seem to make any difference?

Even wonderful husbands don't always notice everything we do for them.  It isn't necessarily that they're being rude, but it can be hurtful to try your best to serve and please him only for him not to notice.  The key is to remember Who it is you're actually serving.  If you're trying to implement these ideas and suggestions in order to serve your husband, it's likely that, at some point, he won't notice and you'll be hurt.  But if you do them because doing so is serving the Lord, then it won't matter as much if/when your husband isn't fully aware of all the small things you're doing to help make his day run more smoothly.

Marriage is teamwork.  By doing what you can to improve your marriage and keeping your heart tender toward the Lord's leading, you can do much to improve your contributions to your marriage.  If your marriage is good, your actions may inspire your husband to reciprocate in kind.  If your marriage is in a rough spot, doing these things means you're doing what you can to ease the situation.

You can always nurture your marriage in one way or another, starting right now.  Let's strive together to improve our relationships with our husbands, whether those relationships are already fabulous or we're hoping that they will be some day.

May I challenge you?  Will you join me this week in 1) praying at length for your husband, 2) giving him priority, and 3) working at becoming a better listener?  If so, leave a comment letting me know that you're joining me this week in improving in these three areas!

New! Free Ebook: Hope for the Hallway

Do you have a bucket list? I didn't think I did, but last night I realized I do.  A few items on my "to-do" list include:

• Writing a book (and becoming a published author)
• Writing a companion guide for my spark plugs' math curriculum (the Life of Fred series is great but seems to be missing a few things)
• Running a half marathon (a full marathon just seems like too much of a time commitment right now)
• Traveling outside the United States (my top places to visit include Port Isaac and Ireland)

Well, I'm SUPER excited today, because last night, I finished writing my very first ebook:  Hope for the Hallway!  At just 16 pages (including the title page and table of contents), it's nothing earth-shattering, but I was over the moon at its completion.  And, as a big thank-you to everyone who reads my blog, I'd love to give you a copy of my new book!

Simply sign up using either the "subscribe" bar at the top, the side bar "subscribe" option, or the super-annoying popup that appears shortly after you open my blog page (I've set the parameters so that it'll only show up once a month, so if you've already clicked it closed, just use one of the other options).  Once you've subscribed, I'll automatically send you a welcome email with a pretty pink button at the bottom where you can download Hope for the Hallway.

How cool is that?  (Sorry, I'm still very new to all of this blogging technology, and the fact that I can upload a digital book to my blog, and then attach that book to an email so that my readers can download it, is pretty amazing to me.)

Thank you for being a loyal reader!

Your turn:  If you have a bucket list, what are some of the items on it?  What have you already accomplished?  If you don't have a bucket list, have you ever considered creating one?  Why or why not?

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When It's Obvious that God's At Work

I love John chapter 21.  The scene opens in the early morning light.  The crucifixion and resurrection have taken place, and the disciples have been out fishing all night without any catch to show for their efforts.  Jesus, standing on the bank, calls out to them and tells them to cast their nets over the side of the boat.

Now, if this had been me, I probably would have grumbled about having to try again after a fruitless fishing expedition.  I might have stubbornly refused to do it at all.  Thankfully, the disciples obeyed, even though they hadn't even realized that it was Jesus Who was asking them to do it (verse 4).

Their incredible yield from obeying the Lord resulted in 153 fish (verse 11).

Wow.

That's the power of God at work.

In verse 12, we learn that they didn't ask Jesus Who He was, because they knew it was the Lord.  They didn't recognize Him at first - whether due to the poor light or because they were too far out on the water or because their hearts were hardened, I'm not sure - but they knew exactly Who He was after He performed that miracle.

Sometimes, things occur in life that are so inexplicable in human or scientific terms that we know instantly that only God could have performed them. There is no doubt that He is the One orchestrating these events, and they leave us in greater awe of His majesty than ever before.

For me, the days and weeks following Jon's surgery come to mind. I thought I knew exactly how the Lord would choose to meet our needs while Jon took time off of work to recuperate. He had accrued a week's worth of paid vacation (so we thought), and the previous month had had an extra pay day. While the extra pay check from the earlier month was an enormous blessing, the paid vacation fell through.

Instead, the Lord graciously met our needs above and beyond what we could have imagined. My mom came to stay with us while Jon was in the hospital, and she brought with her ingredients for over a week's worth of meals. Other family and friends gave us gift cards (most at great personal sacrifice), brought meals, provided childcare, and helped out financially. I was amazed and humbled at the ways the Lord used so many people to bless and comfort us!

I also know there are times when it should be obvious that the Lord is behind something, but so often I fail to recognize His hand. Sometimes I'll later realize that He's been at work, but a lot of the time, I'm completely oblivious and never thank Him for His provision. For times like those, I can only ask forgiveness and pray that I'll become more sensitive to seeing the obvious.

Your turn:  Has there been a time in your life when you've clearly seen the Lord at work?  I'd love to hear your story.  Share in the comments!

Lessons from Laura: Managing A Healthy Lifestyle

Because of my family's health issues, I've started down the rabbit hole of living a healthy lifestyle.  While I find the subject extremely interesting and have learned a tremendous amount about whole foods, specialized exercise, essential oils, and natural cleaning, I'm realizing that it's very easy to go over the healthy living edge - to focus on it so determinedly that everything else in life falls by the wayside.

While I love what many healthy-living, whole-foods-minded bloggers write about, my favorite blog on the topic is Heavenly Homemakers by Laura Coppinger.  Laura understands that we need to live as healthfully as possible without becoming consumed by the healthy living movement.

There are several lessons I can learn from Laura!

1.  Choose Gratitude

Laura comes across as an extremely thankful person.  Her weekly Gratituesday posts, where she shares anything and everything she's thankful for, are one of my favorite aspects of her blog!

One thing she routinely thanks the Lord for is her family.  Laura and her husband Matt have four boys.  They don't have any daughters.  Now, I know from experience that having four children of any gender is enough to garner many incredulous onlookers in the grocery store, but when all four are boys, sentiments such as "too bad you didn't get a girl" are added to the already-annoying "wow, that's a lot of kids."

I've never, ever seen any resentment on Laura's part that she doesn't have a daughter.  Instead, she shares how her youngest saved Christmas; how eager she is to have daughers-in-law some day; and how wonderful it is that the family has Gladis, a little girl they sponsor from One Child Matters.

Rather than bemoan the fact that she has all boys, Laura has chosen gratitude and focuses on the beauty of having four sons.  I love that.

2.  Don't Obsess Over Healthy Living

Laura's journey toward better health is similar to many that I've read.  She understands the importance of wholesome, whole foods, but at the same time, she also realizes that there are times when eating freshly-prepared meals isn't always going to happen.  Are frozen pizzas healthy?  Not at all, but Laura shares how once in a while, store-bought pizza can have a place in a healthy homemaker's kitchen (unless you need to be gluten free - that's another discussion entirely).

There are going to be concessions and compromises in life, even for the most dedicated health nut out there.  We don't need to fall apart over the fact that we can't always eat everything organic or that convenience over nutrition will occasionally have to suffice when the family goes down for the count.  (For a related post on this topic, I thought that Stacey Makes Cents' post "Food is Not Your God" was an excellent read.)

3.  Be Honest

No one would have thought of Laura's healthy lifestyle to be anything other than a desire to treat her body as the Temple that it is, but Laura openly shared how she tried for years to do everything in her own strength.  And although I haven't yet read it, some day I'd love to get a copy of her book Oh, For Real! because I think it probably expands on this topic even more.  Her honesty about her try-hard way of doing things reminds me a lot of Emily Freeman's Grace For the Good Girl, another fantastic read about relying on the Spirit's help instead of one's own willpower.

A few more favorite posts from Heavenly Homemakers:

The Boy Who Saved Christmas

Every Good Cook Burns Herself Sometimes

Reading articles from devout health-conscious bloggers can be a great motivation for an improved healthy lifestyle, and those posts definitely have their time and place.  However, I've just found that I really resonate with the realistic approach of Heavenly Homemakers.  I'm still searching for that elusive balance between healthy living, financial stewardship, and time management, but I think Laura comes pretty close to finding a workable solution between those three!

Your turn:  Are you trying to live a healthy lifestyle?  What struggles and successes have you found along the way?  What are your favorite healthy living resources?

2 Parenting Hacks that Saved My Sanity

2 parenting hacks that saved my sanity

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“They must keep you very busy!”

“How do you manage with a family that size?”

Anyone with more than two children has undoubtedly heard these and other similar remarks.  As annoying as these comments might be, I honestly think that the people saying them are trying to encourage and empathize with the effort it takes to raise a large family.  And, occasionally, I think they also really want to know how those of us with large broods survive.

Since more than one parent has asked me how I’m managing with my four spark plugs, today I want to share two of my very best parenting hacks as well as strategies for implementing them.  These two things have had a dramatic impact on my ability to parent and have saved my sanity time and again.

Parenting Hack no. 1:  Don’t let your kids get up in the morning until you let them.

Now, before you write me off as a crazy parent and click away from this post, let me explain.  I need a lot of sleep.  Not only am I often up multiple times a night, I also need more sleep than the average adult in order to feel human.  When I get adequate sleep, I’m a much better wife and mom (just ask Jon and the kids if you need any convincing on this point).

So, when my oldest just naturally stayed in his room until I got him up each morning – something I can’t take any credit for since I never would have thought to teach him this – I quickly recognized the benefit of this happy accident.  I purposely taught each of the other children who came after him to follow suit.

Because they’ve learned to stay put in the mornings, if I need an extra fifteen minutes of sleep (okay, in full disclosure, I’ve even slept in for an extra hour once or twice after a really, really rough night), I can sleep longer without worrying that they’re going to tear through the house and destroy it or get into things that could harm them.

I’ve also heard moms say that no matter how early they get up, their kids somehow know and get up early with them.  If you feel as though you need a few minutes to read your Bible, have your coffee, and jot down the day’s to-do list, teaching your kids stay in their rooms until you’re ready for them to get up will go a long way toward this.

A word of caution:  a good friend of mine once mentioned that when she got up before her kids, she started coveting that quiet time so much that she began to resent the time she had to go get the kids up for the day.  I’ve had to be very careful not to fall into this temptation myself.

Why this works for us:

We’ve made each of the kids’ rooms childproof.  All of our bedrooms are close together, too, so if the spark plugs need me, I can hear them.  (For those with spaced-out bedrooms, an old baby monitor can work.)

We used to have a bathroom connected to the kids’ room, so they were able to use the facilities as needed.  Now that we no longer have that setup, they’re free to leave their rooms for such purposes; they just go back into their rooms once finished.

Each room has a half-high bookshelf and a toy organization system to keep busy hands and minds occupied.  For our school-aged children, they can get a jump start on their lessons for the day if they want to.  They’re usually only too happy to do this; an earlier start means an earlier finish!

How to implement this: 

• Start slowly.  If your little ones are used to bursting through the doors at 5am, retraining them to stay put until you get them up is going to take some adjustment.  I’m pretty sure you’ll be met with resistance, especially at first.
• Be firm.  If this suggestion is a good fit for your family, don’t let your kids’ initial resistance cause you to give in.  Be patient and give it a good 3-month trial before you decide whether or not this is worth the effort.
• Make it fun.  Choose some toys or activities that they can only do during these initial morning minutes between the time they wake up and the time you get them out of their rooms.

Parenting Hack no. 2:  Have all of your children (even your highschoolers!) nap every day.

Before I became a mom, I thought children willingly and easily napped and that when they were tired, they’d just fall asleep wherever they happened to be.  Imagine my surprise when my 2-mont-old didn’t slip into a nice napping schedule.  Confused, I called my mother-in-law to ask her advice.

“It’s funny,” she told me, “but I’ve learned that if you want kids to nap, even infants, you have to physically put them in bed at the times you want them to sleep.  They don’t really fall asleep just anywhere.” She also shared something else that day.  “Another thing I always did with my kids was to have all of them, even my high schoolers, nap for an hour every afternoon.  They didn’t have to sleep, but they did have to go into their rooms with a book or quiet project for a little while every day.  It saved my sanity.”

This was news to me, but since she’d raised 6 kids, I figured she knew what she was talking about and decided to try a more planned-out napping routine.

It worked.

Not only did my little guy develop a fantastic napping schedule, but 11 years later, all of my kids still have nap/rest time every day.  This brilliant parenting hack has been one of the best pieces of child-rearing advice I’ve ever received, and it’s one I try to pass on to everyone who asks me for parenting advice.

Why this works for us:

I’m an introvert, and with a noisy household, I need some alone time each day.  With our daily afternoon nap time in place, I get some much-needed moments of quiet to finish up anything I didn’t get to first thing in the morning; to do my Bible reading; and to work on projects like budgeting and writing.

I’ve also noticed a change in behavior from my kids when they don’t get this rest time.  They seem grumpier and much more likely to want to veg in front of the television, which isn’t my idea of time well spent.  Giving them their own down time has been as good for them as it has for me.

Because I get some time to think and process most days, I rarely feel burned out.  I don’t long for a weekend away or feel like throwing in the homeschooling towel.  Since a Mommy-only weekend and public/private school are notoptions for us, it’s important for me to find ways to refuel in little bursts so that I don’t grow desperate for something that doesn’t work for our family.

How to implement this:

• Again, start slowly.  If you have older kids who absolutely balk at the idea, aim for just 15 minutes of rest time at first.  You can then increase the time until you reach an hour or so.  For those kids who don’t sleep well at night after a nap, you can try shortening the nap time or moving it earlier in the day.

• Be consistent.  Nap time interruptions will happen, but try to limit them as much as possible.  If you have frequent afternoon outings, see if you can reschedule them so that you have a free hour or so right after lunch for rest time.  If that’s not possible, aim for a nap time on the days you’re home.  3 rests a week will still be more helpful than none at all!
• Be flexible.  If you get an incredible opportunity to tour your town’s underwater basket weaving competition at 2:30 in the afternoon, don’t forego the field trip just because it will interrupt your quiet time.  Simply make sure that the day before and after the event have some scheduled rest time to compensate.

Note:  While there are probably a few toddlers who truly get enough rest during night hours alone, my own personal thoughts are that the majority of children should be taking legitimate naps until around age 5.  Just because a 3-year-old doesn’t want a nap or seems to function without one doesn’t mean that a nap isn’t good for him. 

So, there you have them:  teaching children to stay in their rooms until you get them up and taking daily naps, my two best parenting hacks.  While neither of these may be very popular today, our entire day runs more smoothly because of them.  I’ve seen improved behavior in both myself and my spark plugs, and these are what I recommend to moms who want to gain some balanced control and structure in their family’s schedule.

Your turn:  What is your best parenting hack?  What do you do to help your day run better?  Would you ever try one of my two suggestions here?  Why or why not?

2 parenting hacks that saved my sanity

When You Feel Stuck on Hold

Last week, I spent an hour and 22 minutes on the phone trying to sort out a large medical bill only to learn that there was no way we could lower it any further.  I often encounter situations like this; when you have several chronically-ill family members, there’s simply no avoiding days that are spent on the phone, usually on hold.

It’s frustrating.

Although I try to put my phone on speaker and fold some laundry while I wait, there simply aren’t that many things that I can do while passing the time.  Vacuuming is too loud – I can’t hear the phone to know when someone on the other end picks up.  The same thing is true of washing dishes.  I can’t even read to the spark plugs over the static-y din of the obnoxious hold music.  (Props to GoDaddy for now offering the option to wait in silence.)  Folding laundry and cleaning out my purse are the only two chores I’ve been able to accomplish well while on the phone.

When all is said and done, on these days that are spent waiting for someone to answer on the other end, I feel as though my precious hours have been wasted.  Even though these phone calls must be dealt with just as much as cleaning and teaching, there is no tangible evidence that I’ve accomplished anything at all.  Little minds have not grown wiser; the house has not become cleaner; and I often don’t even come away with a reduced bill to show for my efforts.

I’m tempted to wonder why I even bother at all.

There are definite reasons that I persist at the awful telephone game.  First of all, some calls are absolute requirements, like scheduling appointments and ordering medical supplies.  Secondly, I do get bills reduced often enough that it warrants the time spent to try.

It’s in those rare bill-slashing moments that I realize that the effort has been worth it after all.  The waiting isn’t fun; the time spent is agonizing; but the reduced payments are a huge blessing.

Last week, I suddenly saw yet another parallel between my physical and spiritual life.

Sometimes the Lord asks us to do hard things, things that seem – on the surface – to eat up all of our precious minutes without showing much of a return in the end.  Perhaps you’ve spent years praying for an unsaved spouse or child.  Maybe you’ve had to walk a completely different road than you thought you’d wanted in life.  Or possibly the Lord has called you to do something day in and day out that doesn’t appear to be bearing any fruit.

The thing is, we never know when that hoped-for result will come.  We may not even see the result of our efforts in our lifetime.  But if we’re consistent in doing what He’s called us to do, it doesn’t matter.  We are called to be faithful, not to achieve results.  Sometimes, He may see fit to let us see a tangible difference from our efforts, like when an insurance agency agrees to cover more of the total cost or when a hospital agrees to charge us less.  Other times, He might let another build on the foundation we’ve laid, like with someone to whom we’ve been witnessing for years doesn’t come to Christ until another person presents the Gospel to him again.

My point is this:  nothing we do for the sake of the Gospel is in vain.  We won’t know until Heaven just how much of an impact we will have had on the world, and that’s perfectly okay.  We simply need to keep on making those spiritual “phone calls,” even the ones that disrupt our day and offer no physical evidence of accomplishment.  It is up to the Lord to bring about the fruit in His perfect timing.

Your turn: Are you faithfully doing the tasks that the Lord has given you, especially the ones that aren’t yet bearing fruit?  How do you keep going even when it appears that it’s all for naught?

4 Ways Failure Can Become Your Key to Success

Devastated, I stared at my quiz score.  Never before had I ever failed an exam of any kind (with the exception of my driver’s test, but that’s a story for another day).  It’s okay, I told myself.  It’s my first week here at college.  I’ll do better next time.  But the following week’s quiz resulted in an even worse grade.

What I hadn’t understood until that second failed quiz was that the reading assignment for each week’s lecture was due before the lecture, not after.  This was completely backward from high school, where my mom taught us the lessons and then had us follow up with the reading assignments.  I learned the hard way that at college – or, at least at the college I attended – the reverse was true.

It was really humbling to fail the first two quizzes of my college career…and in English class, of all places.  I never thought of myself as an exceptional student, but English grammar was one area where I usually did well.  I worried that if I couldn’t even pass English, I would certainly fail in all my other classes.

Of course, once I figured out what I was doing wrong and corrected it, things went much more smoothly, and I ended up graduating a semester early with a respectable GPA.

From this experience, I learned four things about failure that have helped me better appreciate its place in my life.

Failure of some kind is inevitable.

I don’t know anyone who enjoys failure, but everyone has failed at something at one time or another.  It’s a natural part of life, and, if we let it, failure can become a fantastic teacher.  Although I didn’t know it back in college, those first two failed quizzes taught me persevering despite failing.

Failure can be either our foe or our friend.

We have to decide if we’re going to run from failure or learn from it.  In college, since I was stranded 3,000 miles away from home with no transportation, running from my failure wasn’t an option.  So, I figured out the problem, corrected it, and learned from it.

Failure can push us to do greater things.

When I failed those college quizzes, it motivated me to study more diligently and to make sure I’d done my homework in the appropriate order so that I had already covered the material I would be tested on.  If I’d found college work to be easy, I might not have studied as hard or learned as much as I did.

Failure can help us make better choices.

Because I started off that English class with poor quiz scores, it forced me to be diligent to study well so that my overall class grade wouldn't suffer.  I chose to study over spending time in leisure activities.  In the end, that rough start probably caused me to do better in that class than I would have done simply because I was motivate to develop good study habits from there on out.

I don’t know that any of us will ever love failing at things.  But since we know it will happen – probably many times! – at some point in life, we can keep a good perspective and use it to our advantage and thus causing failure to become the key that brings us success in other areas.  If we choose to accept it, learn from it, be motivated by it, and be bettered as a result of it, we can transform something bad into a blessing.

It’s yet another way that the Lord can bring forth beauty from ashes.

Your turn:  Have you experienced failure?  If so, in what form?  What did you learn from it?  How did it change you for the better?  Share in the comments section below!  I’d love to hear your story.

When You Have to Work but Want to Stay Home

For the first 10 years of our marriage, I worked part time first as a church secretary and then as a piano teacher to supplement Jon's income.  I found both jobs enjoyable and appreciated each of them, and by carefully planning my schedule, we never had to pay for childcare.  Even so, I would have greatly preferred to be home full time.  Between the fact that I’m a complete introvert and that I believe a woman’s primary ministry is in her home (though, of course, her home is not her only ministry!), I didn’t like having to leave my husband and little ones in order to work.

I spent long evenings teaching music in my students’ homes, often waging through horrendous traffic just to give a 30-minute lesson before struggling through more jammed freeways to reach the next student.  I taught through multiple rounds of morning sickness, which only added to my misery.  I taught at odd hours to accommodate my students’ scheduling needs.  And although most of my piano families were wonderful, I had that inevitable student who would call to cancel 5 minutes before lesson time.  The worst lesson I ever endured was the time I showed up to a student’s home only to discover that although her entire family had the stomach flu, she still wanted a lesson.  The Pepto Bismol on the counter mocked me as I tried to hold my breath and avoided touching the piano keys.

When the Lord provided a job for Jon that fully met our financial needs, I was over the moon at the fact that I could stop working.  It wasn’t that I disliked my job, but the stress that it placed on both me and my family was a burden I gladly surrendered at the earliest opportunity.  I was truly sorry to say goodbye to my current students – they were some of the best I’d had in all my years of teaching – but the first night I didn’t have to leave Jon and the spark plugs felt like Christmas.

Over the years, I’ve met other amazing ladies who also have to work but are waiting for the day when they can be home with their families.  My heart goes out to them, because I can well relate.  And many of them have been working far, far longer than I ever did at jobs that aren’t as easy and high-paying as mine were.  I wish I could promise them that tomorrow they’ll be able to quit their jobs, that the end is almost in sight.  But, of course, I can’t do that.

What I might be able to do, though, is to offer some encouragement, share what helped me get through my jobs, and express what I wished I had done while I worked.

(Note:  Truthfully, I feel a little timid about sharing my thoughts when so many amazing women have had much longer, more difficult positions and situations than I ever had.  I mean, I worked as a church secretary where I interacted daily with friends, and if I had to work outside the home, there isn’t much that’s more rewarding than teaching.  I greatly admire these ladies who have a much tougher time than I ever have.)

1.  Pray for Contentment

My number one go-to problem-solving method is prayer.  No matter what the issue at hand, I try to pray first and foremost, and I always ask my close-knit prayer group to pray as well.  One thing that I didn’t do much of when I was working, though, was praying for contentment.  I prayed for a better job for Jon; for my students to remember to pay their tuition fees; and for the kids to be good for Jon while I was away.  Had I also prayed for contentment during that time, I might have handled the strain with much greater grace than I did.

2.  Remember that your desire to be at home is Biblical

I never once felt guilty for wanting to be free of my jobs.  I was confident that taking care of my family and my home was of utmost importance to the Lord, and therefore, desiring to be home with them was a good thing.  The world tries to convey the idea that a woman without an outside source of income is incomplete, but the Bible places greatest importance on serving our husbands and ministering to our families.  We should never think that the desire to be at home is out of place.

3.  Understand that life is not perfect

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn thus far is that life isn’t perfect.  While we are to aspire to the Biblical model of the husband providing for his family while his wife manages the home, situations of sin, illness, injury, and death can all contribute to the demise of this beautiful arrangement.  Single moms, widows, and women whose husbands have been disabled all have to fill the role of provider in addition to their call to manage their homes.  I am so thankful that while life on Earth will never be the way we wish, we as believers do have the hope of Heaven where things will be just as God had originally planned.

4.  Consider how your husband feels

It took me several years to realize that my having to work was probably harder on Jon than it was even for me.  It can be extremely humbling for a husband who either cannot work or cannot find a job that pays well enough to meet his family’s needs.  Looking back, I can see that Jon really needed me to be more understanding and supportive while he couldn’t provide the way he felt he should.  I was so tired and worn out from working at night after shepherding spark plugs all day that I didn’t encourage him enough.  If I had it to do all over again, I would want to focus more on encouraging him when he felt frustrated that I had to work.

5.  Pray for a change of circumstances, but be thankful if they don’t

We’re told to ask the Lord in faith for things.  Since we know that staying home as stewards of our families and houses is Biblical, we can ask for a change of situation that would permit us to do so.  Since we also know that the Lord’s ways are not ours and that His timing is often not what we expect, we need to remember to be thankful even if He decides that we need to continue working for a while longer.  Most of all, we can focus on the glory of Heaven, where things of this Earth will pass away and we will live forever with Christ and in the perfection that will be there.

Working from home or outside the home can be very difficult.  We don’t know at what time, if ever, circumstances will change.  We can still choose to be joyful; we can still opt to submit to our own husbands; and we can continue to hunger for the perfection of Heaven some day, no matter what our present situation is on Earth.  As believers, we always have hope.  Whether we work for 6 days, 6 months, or 60 years, we need to remember that this truly is temporal when compared to the infinite days of Eternity.

Your turn:  Do you work or have you worked, either at home or away from your family?  What things encourage you along the way?  What do you wish you had done differently?  What words of wisdom would you offer to someone else who has to work but wishes she did not?